Going down to south park
by VampiressE12B
Summary: lol we cause a fight between Tweek and Craig, fix it, then i kidnap Kyle and Ebsolon beats up Cartmen! Crazy things happen when you visit southpark...
1. Chapter 1

**Going Down to South Park**

**AN/ So Amber and I have been obsessing over south park so I wrote this fic last year right before summer started…I didn't finish it until now. Lol. So…here it is. **

**Disclaimer: we do not own South Park. We're just not that amazing**

**Third person**

Blixie and Ebsolon peaked out from behind the mailbox in front of Tweek Tweak's house.

"I can't believe we're here!!" Ebsolon said, twitching. "I LOVE TWEEK!"

"Wait, where are we? How'd we get here? WHAT'S GOING ON!" Blixie screamed

"Uh…Blix? It was your idea to come here and…you paid for the bus ticket…" Ebsolon reminded her.

"Oh….right…haha…" Blixie responded. Suddenly, the top right window of Tweek's house opened with a SCHUNK sound. Ebsolon and Blixie looked up to see Tweek leaning out the window.

"Oh No! THERE ARE CRAZY PEOPLE HINDING BEHIND MY MAIL BOX AGAIN!! AHHHH ARE YOU HERE TO STEAL MY UNDERPANTS TOO?? NOOO TOO MUCH PRESSURE JUST GO AWAY!!!" he screamed, before slamming the window shut. Blixie and Ebsolon walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Tweek opened the door.

"AAHHH what are you still doing here!!" he screamed. Ebsolon and Blixie fell to their knees and started to bow down to him.

"Oh almighty Tweek." Ebsolon said. "We bring you gifts!" She handed him a bag of harbucks coffee and Blixie handed him some dunken donauts.

"Uhhh, thanks?" Tweek said, before slamming the door shut. The two girl's eyes watered.

"Why won't you talk to us!!!!!" They sobbed.

"Who are you?" A very nasally voice said, interrupting their sobbing. Ebsolon and Blixie turned around to see a boy in a blue jacket and aviator cap.

"OH MY GOD!!" Ebsolon screamed. "ITS CRAIG!!!!" She tackled him.

"AHH WHO ARE YOU FREAKS GET OFF OF ME!!" Craig screamed, pushing Ebsolon off of him and running into the house. He slammed the door behind him, then turned and flipped the door off. He found Tweek in his room, surrounded by cups of coffee. Tweek waved happily at him.

"Dude, who are those freaks in your yard?" Craig demanded.

"I don't know but look! They gave me coffee!" Tweek held up a cup.

"AHH!" Craig screamed, knocking the cup out of Tweek's hand. "Don't drink that! It's probably drugged."

"What kind of drug would they put in coffee?" Tweek questioned, becoming more paranoid.

"I dunno, ecstasy."Craig replied. Tweek gasped.

"Not the date rape drug!!"

"You need to get rid of all the coffee!" Craig said. Tweek's eye twitched.

"Get. Rid. Of. Coffee??" He said. 'What do I do? Drink it? Get rid of it? "AHHHH too much PRESSURE!!" He screamed, before running out the door and locking himself in his bathroom. Craig rolled his eyes.

"Now, what do with all this coffee…."

**Back in Tweek's yard**

"AHHHHHHHHH!!" Blixie and Ebsolon screamed as gallons of scolding hot coffee came pouring down on them.

"Tweek didn't like our coffee??" Blixie sobbed.

"But-but-but Tweek loves all coffee! ALL OF IT!" Ebsolon sobbed back.

**Back in Tweek's room**

"Bwhahahahahahah!!" Craig laughed manically as he poured the burning coffee on the creepy stalker girls heads. When all of the coffee was gone, Craig went downstairs and made Tweek a pot of the coffee that had already been in the cupboard. Wonderful, drug free coffee.

Craig took the coffee upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Hey Tweek." He called.

"No! I'm not coming out! There's still WAY too much pressure!"Tweek responded. Craig rolled his eyes.

"I already got rid of all the coffee." Craig said. The bathroom door opened slowly.

"You, what?" Tweek asked.

"I got rid of all the coffee." Craig repeated. Tweek suddenly reached out and pushed Craig out the hallway window.

"Get out of my house you coffee hater!" He screamed before slamming the window shut. Luckily, instead of landing on the hard cold ground, Craig landed on Ebsolon and Blixie, crushing them.

"Craig!" Ebsolon yelled, happily. She flung her arms around his neck, hugging him.

"EHHH Cant. Breath." He gasped. Ebsolon let go, and he rubbed his neck, glaring at the two of them. "What do you think you're doing trying to poison Tweek with the date rape drug!" He yelled.

"But-but-but…" Ebsolon stammered.

"We're not here to poison Tweek." Blixie answered.

"Yeah we're here to worship him!" Ebsolon said. All was silent for a moment.

"Craig?" Blixie asked. "Why did you decide to fling yourself out of a two story window?"

"I didn't! I-I got rid of all the coffee and Tweek pushed me out of it." He admitted.

"He didn't!" Ebsolon gasped.

"Uh then explain how I'm here?" Craig responded.

"A rinosarous barfed you up on top of us." Blixie said. Craig and Ebsolon stared at her. "What? It was a flying rinosarous!" She insisted.

"Uh, Okay whatever…" Craig said.

"WAIT!" Ebsolon yelled, suddenly. "I know how to make Tweek forgive you!" It was quiet for a minute.

"Ahh are you gonna tell me?" Craig asked.

"Yeah,

If you buy us harbucks…."

**Two latte's later**

"Okay! Tell me!" Craig said.

"We'll plant coffee trees!" Ebsolon said. "In his backyard!!"

"That won't work, a coffee tree would die here…" Craig said, being his usual pessimistic self.

"HEY THIS IS MY STORY AND I SAY A COFFEE TREE WILL WORK!!" Blixie screamed.

"Wait, what do you mean story???"

"….nothing…."Blixie and Ebsolon said. And with that, they started to plant all the coffee bean trees they could find in Tweek's backyard. Which ended up being about 50?

"So, do you really think this will work?" Craig asked.

"Sure!" Ebsolon said. "He loves you! He's bound to forgive and forget!"

"Yeeesssshhhhh!!!!" Blixie said, next to Ebsolon.

"What?" Ebsolon asked, following Blixie's line of sight. What she saw, was a little Jewish boy, in a green hat…

**AN/ hehe off to kidnap Kyle!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**AN/ lol REVIEW**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it**

**Third person**

"OMG!! IT'S KYYYYLLLLLEEEEEE!!!" Blixie screamed, before she flung herself over to the side walk, tackling him. She hug him by his neck, swinging him back and forth, crushing his windpipe.

"AAAHHHGGGGG!!"

"OH my God! KYLE!" Stan, who no one noticed till now, yelled. He tried to get him away from Blixie.

"NO! BAD CARTOON CHARACTER!! MY KYYLLLEE!!" She yelled in a very cartmenish way before running, with Kyle in her death grip.

"BLIXIE COME BACK!!" Ebsolon yelled. But Blixie didn't even turn her head. Stan ran after them screaming. Ebsolon sighed and shrugged. "Guess we're stuck planting the last of em ourselves." She and Craig finished planting the last coffee tree and tossed a couple of pebbles up at Tweeks window.

"What do you want?" Tweek asked, glaring down at them. Craig pointed at the coffee trees. Seconds later Tweek was out the back door and in Tweeks arms. Craig was forgiven.

"Okay, well, now that that's delt with, we need to go find Blix." Ebsolon said, breaking up the lovely creekness.

"Who?" Tweek asked, twitching.

"The other girl that was with me." Ebsolon explained. "She kidnapped Kyle and ran off."

"WHAT? Poor Kyle!" Tweek said.

"Yeah, whatever, so are you guys gonna help me find them or what?" Ebsolon asked. Craig flipped her off but said 'sure' so they set off to rescue Kyle Broflovski from the crazed fangirl.

"Where do you think she would take him?" Craig wondered.

"I dunno…what's a cool and fun place in South Park?" Ebsolon asked.

"Uh, nowhere?" Craig responded.

"Oh right…well what's the last place we would ever think to look, after all that's where it always is!"

"It's always in the last place you look because you stop looking for it after that you idiot…" Craig said, flipping her off.

"GAHHH." Tweek cried. "What about –twitch- Stan's house!"

"That's stupid." Craig said. "Why would she go to Stan's house when she's trying to avoid him?"

"EXACTLY!!" Ebsolon cried. She grabbed their arms and raced to Stan's house.

**Meanwhile**

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.

"Would you stop freaking poking me?" Kyle, who was tied to Stan's computer chair, yelled.

"Fine, grumpy pants. God, why are you so moody." Blixie grumbled.

"BECAUSE YOU KIDNAPPED ME AND TIED ME TO A CHAIR!!" Kyle yelled.

"Oh whatever…"Blixie said, rolling her eyes. She poked Kyle again.

"STOP IT!"

"Haha." Then she whipped out a camera and took a picture of him.

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!" Kyle screamed, as the flash on Blixie's camera was quite bright.

"If you sing the Mr. Hanky song I'll give you a cookie…"Blixie said.

"A…what??'' Kyle asked.

"A COOKIE." Blixie repeated.

"What…what KIND of cookie???"

"A Chocolate CHIP cookie…."

"…"

"…"

"OKAY!." Kyle agreed. He took a deep breath. "We've all heard of Rudolf whose nose glows! We've all heard of frosty who's made of of snow!! But all of those stories seem kind of…gay. Because we all know who brightens up our holidays…." Music suddenly started playing out of nowhere…

"Mr. Hanky the Christmas poo!" Little children's singing faces appeared in the window. "He's small and brown he comes from you. Sit on the toilet here he comes! Squeezing between your festive buns! A prrreeeeesssennntt form down below spreading joy with a howdy ho! He's seen the love inside of you cause he's a piece of ppoooooppp."

"Sometimes he's nutty sometimes he's corny he can be brown or greenish browwwnn! But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve, he might come to your town! Mr. Hanky the Christmas poop he loves me, I love you, there fore by (Charismay??) He loves you!!!"

"I can make a mr. Hankey too!" One of the random kids outside sang.

"I'm not pooping out mr. hankey for this part." Kyle said. "he's only allowed to come to South park at Christmas. He told me so."

"Awww…." Blixie said, disappointed.

"Okay well, I'm gonna end the song there…can I have a cookie now??"

"Yup!!" Blixie said, shoving the cookie into his mouth.

"YES chocolaty goodness!!!" Kyle said once he had swallowed the cookie.

"That's a good favorite character…yesh it isssss!!" Blixie said, patting Kyle on the head.

"Hey, wait a minute, what do mean, character??"

**Three hours later….after watching every southpark episode (Even though it would take way longer than that)**

"You mean I'm not even real!!" Kyle yelled. "I'm just some worthless character in a really inappropriate TV show???"

"No you're not worthless! You're everyone's FAVORITE character in an inappropriate TV show. And I do mean everyone's, Ebsolons a liar…I'm not the only Kyle fan HA!!"

"I can't believe it took us three hours to get here!" They heard Ebsolon yell downstairs.

"Oh crap…"Whispered Blixie, she put her hand over Kyle's mouth and opened the closet. Tom Cruise stared up at her. "Oh would you get out of Stan's closet already! I mean really!!" She tossed him out and dragged Kyle into it. They hid under all the hanging red and brown coats and under the piles of blue and red hats.

The door opened. "Dude! It's not my fault okay!" A nasally voice said on the other side of the door. "I told Cartmen I didn't want to go back to freaking Peru! I hate that place it's the source of my nightmares! But that fatass wouldn't listen to me!"

"Its true-AHAHHH-Craig ha-hates Peru!!" Tweek twitched. Suddenly everything was quiet.

"What the heck is Tom Cruise doing here??" Ebsolon asked.

"Some Chick pushed me out of the closet…." He said, sadly. Ebsolon, Tweek, and Craig's eyes all turned to the closet.

'oh crap…' Blixie thought…before…

The closet door swung open violently, and Ebsolon dragged Blixie, therefore Kyle as well, out.

"Finally, God, Blixie, you can't just go around kidnapping people!" Ebsolon scolded.

"Fine…." Blixie muttered, untying Kyle.

"Good, we have other people to visit ya know." Ebsolon reminded her.

"Like who?" Craig asked.

"Like Butters! And Kenny! And Stan who isn't here right now, because he's still looking for Kyle…" She said, adding more and more people to the list as she pulled Blixie, who was still holding on to Kyle, toward the door. Craig and Tweek followed closely behind.

**AN/ heheh now we get to beat up cartman….**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three cartmen gets the crap beat out of him by angry fangirls YAY!

AN/ heheheheh BWAHAHAHAHAH I m evil .but so s he so he deserves it!

Disclaimer: Sadly, I am not disturbed enough to own southpark. And I feel I must point out that the boys are all older in this story lol teenish ya know the usual for fanficions

Third person

Ebby. Ebby. Ebby. Ebby Blixie said.

WHAT? Ebsolon asked, irritabley.

Who re we gonna go see next?? Blixie asked.

Uhh. I dunno OH PIP AND DAMIEN!! Ebsolon decided.

But-but-but-but Damien s sccccaaarrrryyy!! Whined Blixie. Ebsolon, Craig and Kyle rolled their eyes together.

She-she s right AHH! Tweek agreed twitchedly. (Yeah that s right I just invented a NEW WORD)

Hey HEY FAGS!!! The five heard a voice shout from behind them. They turned to find Eric Cartman standing behind him, fat as ever.

Who re you calling a fag? Ebsolon demanded.

Well, duh, Craig and Tweek. Cartman drawled out. Ebsolon and Craig seethed.

Can I kill him? Ebsolon asked through gritted teeth.

Now now, Ebby. We should excersice control over our tempers. You too Craig. Blixie responded.

You too Kyle, you jewish daywalker fag! Cartman added.

KIIILLLLLLLL!!!! Blixie suddenly launched herself at cartman and started to gouge his eyes out with her claws. She liked to keep her finger nails long for this exact reason. Ebsolon and Craig shrugged at each other, then, figuring it was ok if Blixie was in on it, they too launched themselves at Cartman. Kyle and Tweek stood gaping at the fight in front of them.

DUDE! Kyle said, shaking his head at the pshyco's in front of him.

AHHH! Tweek responded. Suddenly, little gnomes appeared and began to take Tweeks last pair of underwear. OH NO CRAIG IT S THE GNOMES AGAIN!! Blixie, Ebsolon, and Craig all quickly ran over to Tweek to defend his only remaining pair of underwear from the vicious underwear stealing gnomes. Meanwhile, Cartman, almost dead, crawled away to safety, which is the only reason he survived their vicious attack.

Hey guy s what are you doing? All five of them heard a voice behind them say. They turned around to see Kenny, older (Duh) and without his hood on.

HIIII keeeennnnyyyy!!! Ebsolon and Blixie said, hearts replacing their eyes.

Who re they? He asked, gesturing to the swooning Blixie and Ebsolon.

Our recently acquired fan girls. Kyle said.

Fan girls? Wait a minute how come I don t have fan girls? Kenny asked.

WE RE RIGHT HERE!!! Blixie and Ebsolon said.

Bu-but I thought you were OUR fan girls! Tweek said.

We can be fan girls for more than one character. Ebsolon said. Kenny started to walk away and Ebsolon and Blixie followed him.

Hey he s taking our fan girls! Craig cried.

Can-can he DO that? tweek asked.

No way man! They like us more! I mean, we were the first ones they went to look for! Kyle said. Not that I ya know, care or anything It was silent between the three boys for a couple of minutes.

That s it, there s no way that dude s gonna take my fan girls Craig muttered as he headed off in the direction Kenny, Ebsolon and Blixie had gone. Tweek followed after him, twitching nervously. After an air punch, kyle followed as well.

Yes we re gonna get our fan girls back! He sang. Tweek and Craig turned to stare at him.

Whatever, dude Craig said. They continued on their way, passing by Tweek s parents coffee shop.

"Hey Kyle." The three boys turned around to see Bebe Stevens walking over to them. Kyle sighed and smacked his forehead. Everyone in South Park knew that Bebe had a thing for Kyle.

"Oh, uh, hi, Bebe." He responded.

"Whats wrong?" She asked. "You look pretty upset about somthing. Was Cartman trying to get everyone to kill the Jew's again?" Kyle sighed.

"Not, its just-"

"STUPID KENNY STOLE OUR FREAKING FANGIRLS!!" Craig yelled, cutting Kyle off.

"Fangirls??" Bebe asked, confused.

"Uh, yeah, listen. Have you seen two teenage girls? Both pretty short, one with black hair/ green eyes, one with reddish brown/ brown eyes?" Kyle asked her.

"Uhm not that i can think of..."

"I'll give you a Teddy Gram..." Tweek whispered.

"THEY WENT THAT WAY!" Bebe shouted, pointing west. Craig looked at Tweek, shocked. The three set off to find their missing fangirls.

"...I can't beleive she actually told us for a teddy gram..." Craig said.

"Not just ANY old teddy gram." Tweek pointed out. "It was a CHOCLATE teddy gram." 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

AN/ Lol by the way...Ebsolon got Teddy grams for Christmas for helping me come up with that :D. And this is truly my worst nightmare....

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING.

"Kenny!" Craig yelled once the hooded boy was in sight.

"What?" Kenny asked looking up at him with innocent (ha yeah right) blue eyes.

"Where are they?"

"Where's who?"

"DON'T PLAY DUMB!" Kyle yelled. "WHERE ARE OUR FANGIRLS!"

"Chill, dude, they're over there talking to Stan." He said, pointing.

"STAN!" Kyle yelled, his face instantly brightening at the sight of Blixie and Ebsolon super hugging Stan. His face was turning blue the hug was so super hugaful.

"Kyle!" Stan yelled, breaking free of the fangirls grips. They proceeded to run toward each other in slow motion.

"STAN!"

"KYLE!"

"NOOOO THE FLUFF IS BURNING MY EYEEEEEEESSSS!!" Kenny yelled, jumping in between the two boys. Kyle and Stan tried to stop, but failed, and instead ended up both running into Kenny. There was a sickening crack and Stan and Kyle fell down, with Kenny, his neck snapped, lying in between them. Stan gasped.

"YOU KILLED KENNY!" He yelled pointing accusingly at Kyle.

"YOU BASTARD!" Kyle, also pointing, yelled back. It was silent for a couple of moments. Tweek coughed, ending the awkward silence.

"So nyyg, we're going to um go see Pip and Damien now, right?" He asked, tugging at his hair.

"Ello chaps! Jolly good to see you here." A voice behind them said. The six teenagers turned to see a welcoming Pip dragging along an unhappy looking Damien.

"EEEPPP DIP!!" Blixie screeched. Craig flipped her off.

"YAY!! You two so belong together!" Squeled Ebsolon.

"Uhm ok...." Pip said. Damien rolled his eyes. (I just realized that Damien and Craig would get along great...)

"Whats up?" Damien nodded to Craig who shot him a welcome bird. (See how well they get along? :D)

"Ok well, we said hi, now lets go." Kyle said. Tweek nodded nervously. Damien just creeped him out.

"But-but-but we just got here!" Blixie and Ebsolon complained.

"LETS nygg GO GUYS!! Please???" Tweek twitched.

"Blixie..." Stan said. Blixie turned to look at him. "If we leave i'll give you this." He said, magically producing a containoer of spinich dip. Blixie's eyes turned as round as dinner plates.

"OMG! My greatest fear...having to choose between dip and....and...SPINICH DIP!!" Blixie panicked.

The other five stood around her for five minutes before...

"GIVE THE SPINICH DIP!!" She yelled sprining at Stan.

"AHH HERE!" He cried in terror, throwing the dip to her.

"Bwhahahaheheheheheheh yeeeeesssshhhh.....!" An evil glint in her eyes, she followed the others back to Stan's house. 


End file.
